It's like God shit irony all over that family
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
