ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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