i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
