I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
