I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
