Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
