her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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