Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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