first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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