He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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