We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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