Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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