i just google imaged poop.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Mom said you looked used
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
