I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
