My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
