Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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