I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
