How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Couch. On fire.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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