all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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