and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
