If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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