I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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