I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
