That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
