New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
