are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
