I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
