I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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