Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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