what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
