Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Randomize
