She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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