Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
