It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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