Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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