in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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