talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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