There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
