my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
