I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
