it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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