Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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