I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
