I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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