The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
