I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
