I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
