i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
