Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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