your room smells of hookers.
And success
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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