No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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