dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
