My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
